Sometimes, a door closes, and that's it

There is no metaphorical window opening somewhere else.

There is now New Agey, activist and benevolent universe lending a helping hand.

Sometimes, a door closes, and that's it.

There are no New Agey "lessons" to be learned, either, about why that door closed.

The only "lesson" is a simple, psychological one: acceptance.

The door has closed, and is now sealed shut. I can't change it. Therefore I need to move on.

And, I need to stop expecting a window to magically open.

Instead, I must, as a normal human being, be looking for a new door, or whatever, that I can get to myself, to walk through it if it's open, or to figure out how to open it — if possible — if it's currently closed.

And, the sooner I accept that a door is closed is the sooner I can work on this.

Oh, it would be nice if a window magically opened.

It would also be nice if I won the lottery, if America has a 30-hour work week, and all sorts of other stuff.

But, that's not happening.

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Personally, I am at the point of accepting a certain doorway is closing more now. And, if this doesn't inspire immediate change, getting closer and closer to the Social Security finish line will.

Frustrations and being "trapped"

Just had to have my car towed back to Hooterville from the nearby mini-metro area. I roughly know the cause, and if the tow truck driver is right on the exact cause, it shouldn't be too pricey. That said, it will cost money, and here in Hooterville, might not be done quickly.

That leads to issue No. 2.

A publishers' meeting in my newspaper company, which starts Friday. I'll have to rent a car, maybe. And, I hate the idea of a corporate meeting with Sunday sessions. And, this all reminds me that I'm the editor and publisher of two struggling papers in small towns that probably should be combined into one single paper.

I'm in my 50s, I can be grumpy too.

Having the worst case of sciatica I've had in at least 5 years, I think, after throwing my back out 2 weeks ago doesn't help. But, I'm not dead, and have less in the way of physical problems than Laura, Ang and others.

It's really that it reiterates the frustrations of still being stuck in Hooterville and that, for the last five-plus years, while I've stayed employed, my job moves have generally been escaping problems at the previous job, whether company closure in Dallas, skyrocketing housing prices in the Permian Basin, bad management at last position before this one, or a struggling economy in a struggling city and county here.

And, having been the victim (I believe) of age discrimination on one employment interview doesn't help.

Basically, things like this bring up the fear of being "trapped" that goes all the way back to my childhood issues, PTSD over the abuse.

Obviously things like this, or a drinking history that developed out of them, aren't things to be discussed with one's boss, even though she knows I've been looking for other work. Especially not when she is a "positivity" type who might think such things are easily transcended.