Mistakes were made ...

And they were made by me in coming to Marble Falls, Texas, last December.

Yes, I didn't know how crazymaking my current job would be.

But, some other things I perhaps could have investigated better, and had a rethink about coming here.

Driving around a couple of the dammed lakes of the Highland Lakes today, I saw how many gated communities there are here, out in unincorporated areas. That said, when I was here, I saw the numbers of rich houses in incorporated places.

I knew this place was pretty conservative, but had hoped that the money factor might make more of the conservatives at least relatively enlightened. I don't think that's the case, though, and the number of private communities seems to underline that.

I had that knowledge, plus some demographic information, that said, already back then, maybe I shouldn't go.

But, I wanted out of Odessa. And my psychological, PTSD-related fear of being "trapped" was still running. And, I thought this place was close enough to Austin, as well as perhaps more non-parochial, to be OK. And, I told myself that my intuitional fears were just fears of change.

I blame nobody but me for not explaining that to support group friends and others better.

That said, I hope to listen to those intuitions better.

Failure is an option, and not necessarily an orphan

Some poetic thoughts after reading this very interesting column.

Failure IS an option

I am not a failure,

And I am not the sum of my failures

But I am a person who has failed, and will fail,

Many, many times.

I am also anxious, fretful, and pessimistic –

A toxic brew.

Accepting that failures are not moral faults

Is not always easy to do;

Even harder to accept

Is that because of luck and the actions of others

Failure says little about my skills in many cases.

But self-flagellation

Is a means of trying to assert control

Rather than feeling powerless from its lack.

But that’s not reality.

The truth?

Many of my actions

Have countless outside tangential influences.

But even that is not all of reality.

Even my most important actions, most consciously decided

Have many subconscious influences

From chaotically driven, chaotically competing subselves.

Kennedy and others were all wrong here.

Failure has just as many fathers as victory,

Even if they scurry for dark corners

After the lights of the mind are turned on.