Sobriety groups, friends, friends possibly lost, and more

A "dust-up" has occurred in the last 4-5 days in the chat room for my primary source of sobriety support. At least one person has been banned, for good reason, one for a reason I'm not sure about but I don't have time to track down every bit of information myself, and a couple of others are staying away most of the time now.

One person that was banned could relatively easily get back in, but the more this person rages against the machine, the more crow there is that will eventually need to be eaten for re-admission.

The sad part is that I considered this person, and one person who is staying away, to be online friends, not just acquaintances, and was hoping to meet in person the one who is staying away, the next time I vacationed in California.

But, both of them are likely lessened in their friendship for me. And, since friendship is a two-way street, my friendship for them will probably lessen, too. I don't actively want it to, but if I have less contact with them, that will be the result.

The others that I know have been banned? One, sadly, needed it, and probably needs some sort of professional help. The second? Someone who could be a nice guy, and a friend to people, even, but often chose to be an instigator of unnecessarily attacking people. And, if he had any "issues" behind that, he wouldn't talk.

Contra Rodney King, no we can't all get along.

And, as I told one of the people above, "I don't 'chase.'"

Life is short; and fear?

LIFE IS SHORT 2

Ars longa, vita brevis.
So goes the ancient Latin saying —
“Art is long but life is short.”
I would like to amend that:
Ars longa, timor longior.
“Art is long, but fear is even longer.”
Choices we want to make, we fear making —
Fearing rejection, failure or other results.
And, it’s not just fear.
Let me include frustration,
Disappointment, and more,
Under the rubric of timor.
Missed chances, rejected chances and rejected choices
Have left me often alone,
Even when my desire was clearly otherwise.
I don’t fully understand myself,
But I wish I had a daily mirror to reflect me,
And let me reflect her,
To see what love can be,
While yet retaining some of my skepticism
About what it is not.
But I am afraid my skepticism,
Part natural, part protective, part timorous,
Will remain an albatross,
Even when I am ready for a mirror,
And ready to swim against the tides of chance
To be with one.

— March 18, 2010