Five years to the early finish line

Well, because one has to wait a month for one's first Social Security check, it's actually five years and a month. 

I'm hoping I don't need to retire early, but ... with being in a dying industry and ageism still a deal in America, getting full-time work, or even decent PT work, should something happen to me? It's a concern. I started to type worry, but took it back.

I'd prefer to limp forward further if I can. Especially vis-a-vis a country without national health care, to get to age 65 and the Medicare finish line.

After that, even if I had to start drawing Social Security before 67, let alone 70? I'd be good.

Also, making it five more years means being eligible for senior citizens assistance in rental costs. That means lower overhead. And, any money that I did have from jobs? Getting to 65 would mean an additional tax deduction.

So, five years to the early finish line. Eight years to the middle-level one. Ten to the upper-middle one of "full retirement age." I would hope to have part-time paid work after that, and after that, it wouldn't affect my Sociable Security earnings. I know I can make five. Onward!

Maybe the "dopamine" theory isn't ALL wrong; ditto for serotonin

 For years, starting about the turn of the century, dopamine as "the addiction neurotransmitter" became an ever more peddled idea among simplistic and reductionist ideas of neuroscience — both professional as well as lay.

Given the number of brain receptors for dopamine, that alone made it simplistic. Dopamine does a lot more than trigger desire, or even trigger memories of desire.

Indeed.

It turns out both it and serotonin are ALSO involved in epigenetic controls.

In turn, this means that both depression and anxiety, on the one hand, with serotonin, and addiction with dopamine may have a degree of non-genetic, but rather epigenetic, heritability. That would explain how something like alcohol, with modest-moderate physical addiction potential, but no more, can run in families yet skip around.

PTSD support, but pulled back by Jesus

 My undergraduate Lutheran college has an alumni Facebook page. Someone from a class ahead of me posted recently about having been diagnosed with Complex PTSD four years ago. Said the reasons are vast. Well ... the most likely reason is repeated child sexual abuse. The second most likely is repeated spousal sexual and/or physical abuse.

Anyway, said person mentioned Bessel van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score." Highly touted here, and I've personally used some of its ideas, adapted to "solo Gestalt." Said EMDR also helped. All good so far. Said person also noted that talk therapy didn't help — was specific about CBT, which would be correct. (Don't dismiss something like non-CBT group therapy, though!)

But, then comes the takeaway.

"There is no healing outside of Christ."

Even in your small town, there's likely a Hindu or Sikh Indian-American convenience store owner. Maybe a few Muslims.

I don't know if I feel that it's despicable you feel that way, but it is sad.

And, this is why the conservative wing of Lutheranism is a fundamentalism — different fundamentals than "THE fundamentalist" portion of Calvinism. But, still a fundamentalism. I'd say "sorry, sis," but, one of my 2020 goals (not resolutions) has been to stop saying "sorry" for things that aren't my fault. This one is nobody's fault. It's my take on conservative Lutheranism and a take that you don't take, and yes, that you don't like.

It's also, of course, why, even if I ever did leave secularism, I'd never go back to where you, or this person, are at.

To use the magic phrases of interpersonal psychology, if said schoolmate said:

"I believe there is no healing outside of Christ," I'm down with that.

But, not as written.

Maybe everybody assumes that all alums of a fundamentalist Lutheran college still are fundy Lutherans today, I guess. It's like inside talk thinking the mike is off.

If there's a fringe thankfulness? It's that this is a good reminder of what I left behind. Sure, some of my bretheren from seminary days after that may be a bit more open-minded. But, others may not.