Feeling better

My sister and my best friend both tell me I sound better, on the phone at least, since moving back to Dallas. Another person said the same about me just by sobriety chat room observations online.

I guess I’m more transparent than I might want to admit; sometimes, that’s pretty good. I have cut one of my two antidepressants in half, as I felt lethargic in the mornings, not antsy and sleep-deprived. That was shortly after accepting the job offer to move back here, which I figured had something to do with it.

When my tricyclic runs out, I’ll cut the Celexa in half again a month or so later.

SSRI “brain zaps” — they are for real

Technically, your brain itself doesn’t feel anything; it has no sensory nerves. But, trust me, an electrochemical overstimulation of nerves, whether in the head or elsewhere, DOES happen when you’re trying to get off an selective serotonin reuptake antidepressant, even if you’re tapering and not quitting cold turkey.

I had “zaps” on my left temple as I cut back from 20mg/day to 10 mg/day of generic Celexa. I had one, just one, about a week after starting to cut down. Two days later, I had two, within about half an hour later. That was last Tuesday and Thursday. Saturday, I had one Saturday afternoon. Then another. Then another.

Soon, it was a new “zap” every 10 minutes. Needless to say, what passed for sleep Saturday night wasn’t very long, nor was it very refreshing.

So, if you are on an SSRI, or even an older tricyclic antidepressant — follow doctor’s orders, especially when it comes to tapering off and how to do it.

Anxiety — anger turned sideways

If the old cliché about depression being anger turned inward has any degree of truth, then anxiety can certainly be seen as anger turned sideways, at least to a degree.

Anxiety is, at bottom, far of the future. To the degree this fear is based on anger at my present state, status or condition, or the environment in which I am making my future look iffy to me, then anxiety is anger turned sideways.

R(E)BT?

To me, rational(-emotive) behavioral therapy is often, as avidly espoused by people who also, unsurprisingly, seem to be libertarian in their politics. And, from their lips, the “E,” the emotive content of this therapy, seems often missing. Not surprising, again, as these are the same people who would have us all believe that economics is a totally rational game.

Well, neither it nor psychology are.