A slow, languorous night, as I try to relax
From a long day before,
And enjoy life
A little bit more of a day, or a moment
At a time.
While knowing that the ability to
Not think too much, too often
Sometimes might be a blessing.
However, I know it could only be such
For me,
If I had never learned to think “too much”
In the first place.
The problem is not “thinking too much.”
Rather, it’s not having support for thinking a lot
Or for having feedback on thinking a lot.
Or for having parents who valued thinking
And offered support for facing anything
That it might raise up.
No, the problem is
Being anxious about thinking, then
Being anxious about anxiety.
If I can just remember this,
Just remember on a daily basis
For about 20 more years,
I might be OK then.
Or a better semblance of OK than now.
Reparenting myself
Through thinking, growing and anxiety,
Starts again.
