Glad to be single and childless

Should I live to be 80, I might be regretting the childless part then. We'll see.

I'll probably never regret the the single part, other than my hormones for a number of years, if no friends with benefits situations cross the stage of life for me.

But that's it.

I have no desire to be partnered with anyone who might invade my space and want to change me. And, yes, I'll be accused of either sexual or gender stereotypes, but I do think that, among heterosexual relationships, the woman often wants to change the man, and the man often wants the woman not to change. Call it a generalization, not a stereotype. How this plays out in gay and lesbian relationships, I have no idea. But, to build on stereotypes like "butch" and "femme," something similar probably exists there.

Triggering this?

The ad salesperson at my paper. Cute. Boinkable to be blunt.

But, man, there's no way I'd want to actually be with her. I suspect control tendencies run high, and I know that perfectionism does.

Childless?

After seeing ongoing intereactions between my three sibs that have kids, and at least some of their kids, and knowing that, per a secular interpretation of Judaism's first of its ten divarim, this is something that has passed down three or four generations? I'm glad that I'm not involved with passing things down another generation.

Fuck you, Homefries

 This is in part taken from a "journaling letter" to him and in part the background to it.

Homefries, No. 3 of my three older brothers, and No. 2 of my abusing brothers, sent a group text a month ago to me, my sister, the other brothers, and other family and friends. He's been furloughed from his oil and gas industry outdoor sales job for a couple of months now. (I was going to post his actual first name, but eventually decided not to.)

Saying he didn't want to be a "goldbrick" or similar, and talking about all the "other people" he thought were, with expanded unemployment bennies and such, he said he was thinking about taking a courier type driving job, even if at near minimum wage and having to Obamacare on health. (He's still getting bennies, plus unemployment-furlough pay.)

Homefries is the most Trump Train of my three brothers, and the closest to a full-on racist, having called Obama a "blackie" when talking to me, and presumably worse elsewhere.

Well, right after this text, visiting the dentist for the first time in many years, I found out I needed the stump of one tooth pulled, likely another, then a root canal and other things. For a variety of reasons, I don't have dental insurance and haven't. 

I refused to text Homefries back at the time because I didn't even want to cosign his Trump Train virtue signaling bullshit. But, my new medical status led me to the "journaling letter," which is now excerpted.

===

Dear Homefries:

Just fuck you. 

Years and years ago I accepted your non-pology for the abuse, indeed, what was even a non-admission of your sexual abusing me, when you said you regretted not protecting sis and I from Billy Bob (the oldest brother) as an actual covert admission.

No more.

The virtue signaling crossed a line.

First, given your "Blackie" and many other things, I have little doubt who you thing these "other people" are. That's not just because of your words, but because the oilfield industry tilts heavily toward racist white people in its employ.

Second, as far as goldbricking, start iwth Trump and his his family.

So, again, shut the fuck up.

Third, you work in an industry that sucks heavily off the federal and state teats.

Fourth, it's also heavily exploitative of our land and planet, even if you're a climate change denialist.

That leads to the intellectual and personal side.

First, you work for an industry very exploitative of its employees.

Second, you're 61.

It's not easy finding better jobs without a college background.

Related? You've got a bad back already from a driving-heavy job background. And, you want to continue that for less money?

Back to the moral side. 

As I set here staring a boatload of dental work in the face, your virtue signaling also has a degree of personal offensiveness.

I'm still not replying to you, still not co-signing your bullshit.

===

Update, Nov. 4: Turns out Homefries took the job. I don't know for sure if it has O-care or "bennies." I briefly acknowledged his text saying he'd taken it. Didn't realize it, but he is only using his late wife's phone now, so he had to go to "his" phone to get it.

Update, Dec. 3: Also, as far as people "not wanting to work," should I, in a dying industry, ever get downsized or whatever again, and because of age and dying industry, have extra trouble finding work? If I'm eligible for the federal 99-week extended unemployment, and it still exists, I'll take it.