Emotional dissonance

We hear so much talk in the modern world about "cognitive dissonance," where you're sure such-and-such is the case/fact/answer but society/peer group/family or whomever work to change mind.

Well, why don't we hear more about the parallel, "emotional dissonance"?

Especially in families, how often is the phrase, "You wouldn't really feel that way if..." - or something similar - used?

And, how often have people been tempted to drink/use, or actually did so in the past, over such "emotional dissonance"?

I may throw out more thoughts on this in days and weeks ahead; I'd like to hear from others.


For some of us, emotional dissonance, perhaps along with cognitive dissonance, may have begun in childhood. (Tim, the dissonance comes from analogy with music; the "outside" will "tell" you or me to think or feel one way when you know that's not what you actually think or feel; two different beliefs feelings, in dissonance.)

Personal experience: Being upset, and dad saying, "I'll give you something to cry about." Or, on both cognitive and emotional sides, the minister father telling me (pre-teen, still very "concrete" thinker) to lie for him on the phone, even if an adult lie.

Then, particularly here in America, you have a society that strives for forced happy endings, and sweeps unhappy ones under the rug, like the high school football player paralyzed in practice who does NOT walk again.

And, perhaps that's another deal with "the other sobriety guys": their "promises" of things such as the claim that fear of economic uncertainly will leave us. Like other such emotionally-pushed belief systems, it sets one up for dissonance. What if I still have that fear? Then, can I no longer be "happy, joyous and free"? Beyond still being fearful, should I be guilt-tripping?

Frankly, beyond addiction and sobriety, I wonder if this isn't part of the reason for the increase of depression and anxiety in the modern world.