Saturday, May 5, 2007

It’s the weekend, it’s anxiety time

Ever since losing my last job, scrambling for a halfway acceptable new one, and having to move to a small town I classify at times as Bum Fuck, Egypt, PTSD-related anxiety levels have been a problem.

And, they become more a problem on weekends.

Why?

• I’m anxious about being bored even before facing the actual possibility of being bored.
• I’m anxious about wasting time from the weekend even before I start experiencing any of it.
• Because I’m anxious about being bored, I’m anxious about sexually acting out to avoid being bored, or more, to try to bury the feeling of being bored.
• I’m anxious about feeling any loneliness, not just aloneness, I may have.
• I’m anxious about what I could, or could not do, in the College Station area, or the Houston area, and whether I’m trying to “rationalize” things.

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