Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Jared Fogle

Why? Why?

Why did Subway's pitchman become a child sex abuser?

Some people might say, it doesn't matter.

Well, in the hands of a bad narrative, it does.

If he was sexually abused as a child himself, it's possible for the ignorant, including among major media, to simply report that fact without reporting that fact that the majority of sexual abuse survivors — boys as well as girls — do NOT become abusers.

It matters, too, in that maybe he wasn't a child sex abuse victim himself. Maybe he's just a sociopath whose sociopathy focused on child sexual abuse. Such people exist.

Neither one is an "excuse," of course. In either case, Fogle clearly knew what he was doing, and that it was wrong.

And, "creative" punishment wishes, like castration, or hoping that he gets sexually abused in prison, are misguided.

If there is any chance that Fogle can either deal with the results of child sexual abuse on him, or with a sociopathic personality, those punishments aren't it. And, they won't help heal his victims.

In my personal history, anger has pretty much run its course. But, per what I just noted, my lack of trust has not diminished to any great degree. For any perpetrator to regain such trust, the burden's on them, and in actions and attitudes, not words.

That said, I talked above about some myths related to child sex abuse.

There's another, and that's "stranger danger."

Either incest by family members, sexual abuse by trusted family friends, or sexual abuse by trusted public profile authority figures accounts for the great majority of child sexual abuse. Movies and TV episodes aside, even if based on true events, or true to life ones, like "Mystic River," that focus on "stranger danger" perpetuate this myth.

Family members normally don't even need to "groom kids." The parish priest, church pastor or synagogue rabbi do, though. As do the scoutmaster. As do the schoolteacher or principal. As do the next-door neighbor. But, these are all either trusted family friends or trusted public figure authorities.

Like Jared Fogle.

Jared Fogle didn't snatch any kids off the street. Instead, he befriended them, buddied up to them ...

And then raped them.

That's the last word.

It's brutal applying that adult word to child sexual abuse, but it's true.

And, both are in part crimes of violence. And crimes of control.