Dysthymia

Unlike "regular" depression, or bipolar disorder, dysthymia is probably both tougher to diagnosis, and more debatable about just how severe it is.

That said, I'm thinking more and more that I've probably had it, more than just off and on "daily blues," for about six years.

That was when my newspaper company in Dallas closed. I've had a rocky professional life since then, and since I've lived in places that weren't always my personal cup of tea.

How much this is actually dysthymia, and how much is likely related blunted affect on positive emotions, which for me I don't really doubt is PTSD related, I don't know.

I do know that I've had cumulative traumas. Old paper shutting down in the middle of the Great Recession. Added worries, compared to many people, on job hunting with newspaper journalism already struggling.

Then, after landing a new job, having that paper look me up online and finding a blog post I wrote about the whys of the closer of my previous paper. Getting reamed out, and worried I was going to lose that job.

Then, finding out that that paper's parent company entered Chapter 11 on the day I got there. Add in an abrasive (and not just to me, though) assistant supervisor.

Then, I got out to near Austin, just as the oil boom was hitting West Texas again. Looked like it would be a bit more money, and certainly a better area. Until I could not realize how screwy the paper was run. I think I almost went into shell-shock. That, in turn, affected my relationship with my immediate boss.

From there, to my current position. Making yet more money, but having two worry about the financial side of two newspapers in a rural county with declining population.

Why wouldn't I have chronic, semi-regular low grade depression?

My apologies, to both myself, and my one follower, whomever you may be, for not having been on here in a while.

I am probably going to write something next week or so, related to some personal feelings and increased family of origin isolation, over some of the big political and social news of the past few weeks.