Sunday, September 23, 2012

Changes, transitions, fears, anxieties, the future


Well, I have escaped a newspaper job that wasn’t right, not just as a newspaper job, but as a job, period. That said, I’m now in a smaller, and poorer, locale, in Texas and still in the newspaper biz.

I think my sister somewhat understands my economic and employment fears for the future, and certainly my larger psychological ones. I’m not sure even she totally gets them, though.

My three brothers don’t, at all, I think. That’s in fair part because of their conservative to ultraconservative political stances.

The oldest, a former (for now) minister who got pushed out of his last church, should understand. Older than me, the last I heard, he was working as a bank teller, which is nowhere near the job it was 20-30 years ago, and teaching driver’s ed on the side.

Brother No. 2 has had the same employer, on a smooth career track, his entire life. He’s not a full tea partier type like Bro. 1 (and 3) but, he’s conservative enough.

Brother 3? Blue/gray collar white … outdoor field sales in the oil patch. Fits well in tea partier demographics. Called Obama a “blackie” once, and who knows what he’s said when I’m not around.

Well, given the current energy exploration situation, his job is as safe until retirement until that of Bro. 2. Of course, he overworks himself, in part out of hyperactivity … he, like me, could do “more” with his workaday life, probably. He gives himself away too much, which I still stay stuck in fear.

All I can do is do my best at detaching from anxiety, and living in today while hoping for tomorrow. It does sound trite at times. But, it is what it is.

And, I turn 50 in little over a year. Supposedly, by the time most ppl get to their mid-50s, they start getting happier again, after a dip in the 30s and 40s.

Of course, those studies are largely based on families with kids, and 50-something parents largely enjoying the empty nest. I’ve not seen breakouts for childless adults.

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