Nobody cares

I had a dream, during an afternoon nap, of being at a childhood lunch or dinner table. Pre-divorce, and mom and dad both seemed halfway engaged with me and reasonable attentive. I had emotional "pressure" building up inside myself, until it burst. I said "I want to quit," repeatedly, while crying dry tears at the same time. (I presume what that statement actually means is clear.) I'm not sure what led to that dream. I do have a friend, not too too much older, facing a cancer diagnosis that is serious but not necessarily terminal. That is surely one thing. Feeling isolated, even though I shrug it off at a conscious level, is surely another. Perhaps a "surface-level" Thanksgiving time at Jason's is another. If I remember the flip side of "nobody cares" is a solitude that nobody can take away from me, I should be better. Nonetheless, this was NOT a fun dream.