Expressing a bit more, at least in Gestalt self-talk

Per my previous post, my review of Bessel van der Kolk's "The Body Knows the Score," and related items, I've started doing a bit of self therapy based off group therapy family role playing he mentions in the book.

It's doing something, that I know.

I told images of my mom and dad, from childhood, that I was not just angry in some way, but that I was disgusted, ultimately, with how both of them were not only, or just, self-centered, but either unaware of their being self-centered, or something like that, during my growing up, as far as failure to psychologically nurture me.

Indeed, I then thought for things that aren't specifically emotional abuse, but maybe a constellation of religious abuse, intellectual abuse and similar, that we ought to call this "psychological abuse."

I also told a Gestalt image of my sister, of today, not childhood, that I was kind of angry with her response to me a few weeks ago when I had a PTSD anxiety incident at work that had ripples inside me for a few days.

I'm paraphrasing somewhat, but it came off as being something like "Put your big boy pants on," or "you made your bed." She knows I took this job because I had to, rather than risk staying unemployed after being downsized and over the age of 50.

That said, as I have written here before, I see less and less available at that well. That's just honest.