Changes and transitions in family

I have a family of one, myself. However, for reasons of shared past and other things, I've long been closer to my sister -- a fair degree to a lot closer on serious issues -- than to any of my brothers. And, I consider my brother-in-law somewhat the brother I never had.

They moved to one part of central Texas about the same time I moved to an area less than 150 miles away. Then, 7 months later, I moved to just about 35 miles away. So, for almost two full years, I was over at their place (my small town had nothing special to attract them here) about every Saturday, and occasionally on a weekday.

I've often called my niece and nephew, their kids, the kids I'll never have. Without pontificating, I gave my niece a "growing up" letter in her card, and long with gifts, as she became a teen earlier this year. And my nephew? I've tried to have fun with him, including teasing while hoping I've not been overdoing things.

And now they're gone.

They moved a week ago to Arizona.

In some areas, I wasn't tremendously close. Matters religious vs secular, of course. But, they never preached at me, and in fact, my brother-in-law, a minister, gently tried to deflect a few probing comments by my nephew, 9, over the last months. And, while they're overall conservative, they don't trend from partway to fully wingnut, unlike my brothers.

It will probably take a week or to, especially a couple of Saturdays of trips over to where they lived, where I'll still do some bigger-city shopping, bigger-city library usage and more, then realizing that ... "oh, it's time to head back home" and it's not "let's drop by for dinner," or "what are you doing this afternoon" to all sink in.

Having their presence nearby, in a small town that's not just a small town, but a still-shrinking one, with a high rate of rural poverty and a fair degree of parochialism, and stresses over my job here in the newspaper biz, an industry that I still can't get out of, was a bit of soothing, a bit of destressing. And I don't have that any more.

So, it probably will take a few weeks to sink in. A couple of Saturdays.

That will probably include the realization that, on my end, even to the degree I compartmentalize my life, I didn't talk to them on some serious things as much as I could have.